It's been a while since I've blogged but I've been meaning to sit down and write about the wonderful things going on with Emma. She's getting close to 16 months old now and she is doing great. I was hoping that one day she would just start walking and all my worries would go away, but in reality it doesn't take one day, it will take weeks or maybe months. Patience, such a hard thing to have when it comes to your child's development. We all want our babies to keep up with their peers and for the most part Emma has done just that. I saw a comment from a mom on the board about the fact that when our babies are little, the SB part is really easy to overlook. They're doing all the things a normal baby would do and it's not until they try to get mobile that you realize just how far behind they are. That's when it gets tough as a mom to handle seeing other kids walking and running everywhere. It grabs you in your gut and I just hug my Emma tight because I know someday, she'll be there.
I have to say over the past few weeks I've sat down with her a lot and just watched her move and crawl everywhere. Honestly, when I found out about her SB, my dreams of my baby being "typical" went away and I just stopped thinking about her future all together. I didn't know what she would be capable of so I just didn't go there emotionally. At every turn she has pushed through any slight disability and has had her own agenda from the start. I'll admit, walking has seriously stressed me out! I have so many mixed emotions about it that I feel like I can't talk about it with everyone around me. I hear the usual supportive phrases like "She'll get there" and "She's doing so good" but all I could feel was that she's not walking and don't try to make it easier, she's just not doing it. I guess I feel scared to get excited about her progress and I don't like feeling that way at all. After all, I'm supposed to be her biggest cheerleader!
She's had her moments where she takes a few steps in a row but then she'll stop trying all together for a while. She loves to fall, it makes her giggle every time. But we've been working with her, trying to get her balance better and making sure that she keeps those good shoes on her feet for support. I still see her bad habits, especially when you hold her hand to walk with her. She tends to drag her feet and not bend her knees and those little toes are pointed outward. Today she took some major steps and it caught me completely off guard. We were sitting on the floor and I had my neighbors over and she walks about 4 feet to my friend Stephanie and I could not believe my eyes. But then to get her to try again was out of the question, she was done for the day! But she did so great and I just wish her daddy was home when she decided to take off, it was so wonderful to watch! I will have to tape a video camera to my body somehow because I can't miss that again.
So I'm learning slowly but surely to take all of these little miracles in and enjoy every second. I was cathing her the other day and thought this isn't a pain to do this, it's 5 extra minutes I get to spend with my daughter 4 times a day and just talk to her. The whole process of cathing is just second nature to us now. Then I looked at her crawling everywhere and I thought poor baby and those little worn out knees. But some babies with SB can't crawl and I look at her clothes with the faded knees and it reminds me to always be patient, she's taking her own time and I'm so thankful for everything she is capable of. I just love every second of it! I will say I haven't figure out a positive spin on the poop situation. All I know is that since she's been taking sorbitol and has a tendecy to "toot" a lot and then starts giggling like crazy, that's enough to make me smile. The rest will work out in time.
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